Two Steps Back

Well, I was very proud of myself for making that first step forward but the last few days I feel like I've taken at least two steps back.  I have spent too much time on facebook and found out some information that I was really hoping to not find out.  The other day Alex and I were in the car and we were talking (seems to be where our best conversations are lately or while we're walking around in the woods) and I told him my idea of how things could work out after seminary and he just chuckled because he knows it won't happen but I think I threw him when I said I know it will never happen because that would mean I'd be happy.  I really don't think I'm supposed to be happy in my life aside of having my family.  So yup I really feel like I've taken at least two GIANT steps back.