It is true that being gone from church for just a month makes you feel weird to go back. You feel like that brand new outsider all over again. This was what I experienced this past Sunday when we went to church. It just felt awkward, and we're not going to be able to go back this Sunday because we're going to Chicago to pick up the kids. Then the following Sunday will be iffy as Alex is on call Saturday. So I'll get to experience the weirdness all over again.
This summer has been more trying than I had ever dreamed it would be. Most people had told me that if I could survive Alex being in Greek last summer then I can survive anything. Not so! CPE (Clinical Pastor Education) is not even comparable to Greek - Greek was nice I could still see Alex, he was only gone part of the day and he didn't come home so tired. It is nothing for me to break down crying almost every day and usually over nothing or something stupid, it's just been a trying and stressfule summer.
Now I'm thinking about applying at Capital University to finish my degree, am I completely crazy? A good friend of mine sent me an email excitedly telling me about how she was thinking about going into the guards so she could go back to school to do something she wanted to do as she felt she never did anything for herself after college. Well, that really got me thinking and I could really related to what she was saying. After Alex graduated from college we moved to Lansing for his job leaving me an hour commute in each direction, well needless to say that commute didn't last long and I dropped out of college. It has always bothered me that I never finished school. Then we moved to OH so Alex could pursue his calling to become a pastor - I left the one job I really loved. I am not complaining though my love for him is greater than any move or void in my life. He is my life! I do however want some say in where we go when he's done here. There are just certain parts of the U.S. I have no desire to live in (like hmm 49 states). I really wouldn't trade the experiences he has brought me for anything and honestly as long as I'm with him I don't care.
So, I'm just starting to think that maybe it's time for me to do something for me. Does it really make a difference if we leave Bexley with student loans from Alex and as we start to pay them off then I go back to school to add to them or I go now and we leave here with loans from both of us? It is my ultimate dream to finish my degree though and if I go to Capital I might be able to minor in religion which I think would be really cool. And let's face it, I'm not getting any younger!
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