Is it Me?

Is it me or is it women in general???  Now what I'm referring to is paranoia and wanting to be accepted and liked.  The paranoia comes in when your spouse is at work all day and you wonder if they're talking about you, and if they are what the people they're talking to about you think. I know this is true of me because I'm constantly asking Alex when he gets home from a day of working in the church office if anyone said anything about me.  I'm so paranoid of what they think and I don't know why.  Or if you're passing by someone and you hear your name and then the bells and whistles start going off thinking what did they just say about me and what do the people think that they said it to?  I think Alex just kind of laughs at me because he knows I'm paranoid about this.  The other thing is being accepted and liked.  Is it crazy that if people treat me different than you see them interact with others then I automatically assume that they don't like me?  I know  you're probably thinking yes it's crazy.  That's just how my mind seems to work.  I can see certain people interacting with guys and then they treat me different well I think that's crap to be honest I didn't ask to be female - nor do I really like it, I find it disgusting (LOL) but that's how God made me.  Yes I want to fit in with the guys.  To be honest I don't normally get along with other females I find myself thinking yup here we go again another bitch fest because I feel that's what most of them do.   There are some exceptions to this though, I have made a few good girl friends over the past couple of years and they accept me for who I am and I love that.  I also feel I can be myself around them, most women I try to play someone I'm not.  So I guess that's my question of today (well second actually) is it me or are others this way too?